Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Text me some of your sweat
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
