I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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