It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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