Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
