Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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