You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
