I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Randomize
