I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize