I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize