What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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