you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
