woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
