Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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