On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
