Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize