It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
it's great music for shaving your balls
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
