I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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