You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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