Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
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