Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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