I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
