sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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