So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
