Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
