I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
