Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
