Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just want nice things and good sex
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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