Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I am available for nakedness
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize