Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
