True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
