are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize