you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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