the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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