i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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