Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
