At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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