oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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