ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
