You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
