I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
