dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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