So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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