Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
