So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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