i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
