They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
