I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
