Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
