you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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