ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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