just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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