The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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