everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
