You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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