Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
