You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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