There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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