i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
