Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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