Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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