ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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